A bridal shower is one of the sweetest and most cherished pre-wedding traditions. Whether you’re the host planning every detail or a guest wondering what to wear, understanding bridal shower etiquette ensures everyone—especially the bride—has a wonderful experience. This guide covers everything you need to know, from who throws the party and what to wear to what actually happens at a bridal shower. So, if you’re feeling unsure about how it all works, you’re in the right place!
Bridal Shower vs. Wedding Shower: What’s the Difference?
Before we dive in, let’s clear up one common point of confusion: bridal shower vs. wedding shower. These terms are often used interchangeably, but there is a subtle difference. A bridal shower is typically a women-only celebration focused on the bride-to-be. It’s more traditional and often includes the bride’s female family members, friends, and bridal party.
A wedding shower, on the other hand, is more modern and inclusive. It celebrates both partners and welcomes all genders. Think of it as a co-ed version of the bridal shower, sometimes called a “Jack and Jill” shower. Both types of showers share the same purpose: to celebrate the upcoming wedding and “shower” the couple or bride with love, support, and thoughtful gifts.
Hosting Basics: Who Plans It and Who’s Invited?
Who Throws the Bridal Shower?
Traditionally, the maid of honor or bridesmaids host the bridal shower, sometimes with help from the bride’s mother or close family. These days, though, it’s perfectly acceptable for anyone close to the bride—like a sister, aunt, or family friend—to take the lead. Some bridal showers are even hosted by multiple people who share the planning duties.
Who Pays for the Bridal Shower?
In most cases, the host or hosts cover the cost of the shower. If the bridesmaids are co-hosting, they’ll usually split the expenses evenly. It’s also totally fine to set a budget together and assign tasks or costs to different people. Open communication makes the planning process smoother and more enjoyable for everyone involved.
Who’s is Invited to a Bridal Shower?
The bride helps create the guest list, which usually includes close friends, bridesmaids, female family members, and sometimes important women from the groom’s side. A general rule: only invite people who are also invited to the wedding. Bridal showers are more intimate than weddings, so don’t worry about keeping the group small.
Planning the Event: When, Where, and What Happens
When to Host a Bridal Shower
Bridal showers are typically held two months to two weeks before the wedding, depending on availability and convenience. Earlier is often better if guests need to travel or if the bride has a packed pre-wedding calendar.
When to Send Bridal Shower Invitations
Aim to send out bridal shower invitations four to six weeks in advance of the shower. That gives guests enough time to RSVP, shop for a gift, and make any travel arrangements. Include all the essentials on the invite: date, time, location, host(s), registry info, and RSVP deadline.
How Long Should a Bridal Shower Be?
Most bridal showers last two to four hours. That’s enough time for everyone to mingle, enjoy some food and drinks, play a few games, and watch the bride open gifts without things dragging on too long.
What Happens at a Bridal Shower?
Every bridal shower is a little different, but a typical shower might include:
- A warm welcome and some mingling
- Light snacks, drinks, a meal, or dessert (depending on the time of day)
- Bridal shower games or activities
- Time for the bride to open gifts
- A sweet toast or speech from the host or a guest
- Party favors for guests
Some showers include a more structured timeline, while others keep things casual. Just make sure the flow feels natural, not overly scheduled.
Dress Codes, Gifts, and Guest Expectations
What Should You Wear to a Bridal Shower?
Bridal showers are typically daytime events, so dressy casual attire works well. For women, think a sundress, skirt and blouse, or nice jumpsuit. The bride often wears white or a light color, but that’s not a hard rule. If there’s a specific theme, style suggestion, or color palette, the host may include that info in the invitation.
Do Guests Bring Gifts—and Do You Open Them?
Yes—guests usually bring a gift, often something from the couple’s registry. The bride typically opens the gifts during the shower, which lets everyone see what she receives and share in the moment. If the bride isn’t comfortable opening gifts in front of everyone, she can opt for a display shower (where gifts are unwrapped and arranged for viewing) or choose to open them privately.
Should the Host Give a Gift Too?
It’s a kind gesture for the host to give a gift, but it’s not required—especially if they’re already covering the cost of the shower. A small, thoughtful gift like something personalized or a card with heartfelt words goes a long way.
The Groom, Bridesmaids, and Other Etiquette Questions
Does the Groom Attend the Bridal Shower?
Traditionally, the groom doesn’t attend the bridal shower, but some couples choose to include him for part of the celebration—especially at the end for a quick hello, toast, or photo op. If the shower is co-ed, of course, both partners are involved throughout.
What Are Bridesmaids Expected to Pay For?
When it comes to bridal showers, bridesmaids are often part of the planning and sometimes the budget, too. If the maid of honor or a group of bridesmaids are hosting the event, it’s common for them to split the costs of the shower—including things like venue rental (if applicable), decorations, food and drinks, and party favors. Depending on the size and style of the shower, that contribution could be minimal or more substantial.
However, it’s not a hard rule. In some cases, one bridesmaid or family member might volunteer to cover more, or the bride’s family may pitch in. Open communication early on is key—that way, everyone understands what’s expected and no one feels surprised or overwhelmed by the cost.
Bridesmaids may also be asked to help with tasks like setting up, organizing games, creating décor, or baking treats. It’s less about the money and more about helping create a beautiful, memorable day for the bride.
Pro Tips for Hosting a Beautiful Bridal Shower
Planning a bridal shower doesn’t have to be complicated—it just takes a bit of care and creativity. Here are a few tips to make the celebration feel special:
- Tailor it to the bride. Choose a theme, menu, and games she’ll love—not just what’s trending.
- Keep the food simple but thoughtful. A brunch buffet, grazing table, or dessert spread can feel elevated without being over-the-top.
- Incorporate personal touches. Include a memory table, customized signs, or a “wishes for the bride” guestbook.
- Don’t overdo it on the games. One or two fun activities are more than enough.
- Capture the moment. Assign someone to take photos or even set up a photo backdrop for keepsakes.
Get inspired with our list of Bridal Shower Theme Ideas.
Related Resources on Bridal Shower Etiquette
A bridal shower is a joyful way to show love and support for the bride before her big day. Whether you’re planning it or attending as a guest, understanding the etiquette—and making the celebration meaningful and personal—will ensure it’s a day everyone remembers fondly.
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