{"id":74895,"date":"2025-08-18T16:34:59","date_gmt":"2025-08-18T23:34:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.shutterfly.com\/ideas\/?p=74895"},"modified":"2025-08-18T16:35:22","modified_gmt":"2025-08-18T23:35:22","slug":"funny-christmas-quotes-sayings-wishes-jokes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shutterfly.com\/ideas\/funny-christmas-quotes-sayings-wishes-jokes\/","title":{"rendered":"70+ Funny Christmas Quotes, Sayings, Wishes &#038; Jokes"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The holidays are a time for joy, laughter, and\u2014let\u2019s be honest\u2014a little chaos. Whether you\u2019re untangling lights, dodging awkward family questions, or just trying to survive another year of fruitcake, a good laugh can go a long way. That\u2019s why we\u2019ve gathered some of the best funny Christmas quotes, sayings, and wishes to sprinkle some humor into your festive season. Perfect for sharing on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shutterfly.com\/t\/christmas-cards\/\">funny Christmas cards<\/a>, social media, or just keeping for yourself when you need a chuckle.<\/p>\n<h2>Funny Christmas Quotes<\/h2>\n<p>The holiday season is full of chaos, cookies, and awkward family moments\u2014so why not embrace it with a little humor? These <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shutterfly.com\/ideas\/christmas-quotes\/\">Christmas quotes<\/a> capture the funny, festive side of the season and are sure to make you smile:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u201cMaybe Christmas doesn\u2019t come from a store. Maybe Christmas\u2026 perhaps\u2026 means a little bit more!\u201d \u2014 Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas<\/li>\n<li>\u201cThe best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.\u201d \u2014 Buddy the Elf, Elf<\/li>\n<li>\u201cKeep the change, ya filthy animal.\u201d \u2014 Home Alone 2: Lost in New York<\/li>\n<li>\u201cAren\u2019t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.\u201d \u2014 Bart Simpson<\/li>\n<li>\u201cI\u2019ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage and tangled Christmas tree lights.\u201d \u2014 Maya Angelou<\/li>\n<li>\u201cI stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.\u201d \u2014 Shirley Temple<\/li>\n<li>\u201cThe worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.\u201d \u2014 Johnny Carson<\/li>\n<li>\u201cSending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they\u2019re worth the price of a stamp.\u201d \u2014 Melanie White<\/li>\n<li>\u201cWe elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.\u201d \u2014 Buddy the Elf, Elf<\/li>\n<li>\u201cThank you, Stockings, for being a long flammable piece of fabric people like to hang over a roaring fireplace.\u201d \u2014 Jimmy Fallon<\/li>\n<li>\u201cThere are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.\u201d \u2014 Bob Phillips<\/li>\n<li>\u00a0\u201cSanta Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.\u201d \u2014 Victor Borge<\/li>\n<li>\u201cChristmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.\u201d \u2014 Andy Borowitz<\/li>\n<li>\u201cNothing\u2019s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.\u201d \u2014 Kin Hubbard<\/li>\n<li>\u201cMail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.\u201d \u2014 Johnny Carson<\/li>\n<li>\u201cI hate the radio this time of year because they play \u2018All I Want For Christmas Is You\u2019 like, every other song. And that\u2019s just not enough.\u201d \u2014 Bridger Winegar<\/li>\n<li>\u201cIt\u2019s that special time of year when your whole family gathers together in one place to look at their cellphones.\u201d \u2014 Jimmy Kimmel<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shutterfly.com\/p\/cards-stationery\/holiday-cards\/most-likely-to-holiday-card\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-73490 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/ideas.shutterfly.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/most-likely-to-christmas-card.jpg\" alt=\"most likely to christmas card\" width=\"500\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/ideas.shutterfly.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/most-likely-to-christmas-card.jpg 500w, https:\/\/ideas.shutterfly.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/most-likely-to-christmas-card-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/ideas.shutterfly.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/most-likely-to-christmas-card-396x395.jpg 396w, https:\/\/ideas.shutterfly.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/most-likely-to-christmas-card-170x170.jpg 170w, https:\/\/ideas.shutterfly.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/most-likely-to-christmas-card-85x85.jpg 85w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em><a href=\"https:\/\/www3.shutterfly.com\/p\/cards-stationery\/holiday-cards\/most-likely-to-holiday-card\">Shop Most Likely To Holiday Card<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<h2>Funny Christmas Sayings and Puns<\/h2>\n<p>These funny Christmas sayings are perfect for cards, captions, or just making someone smile. They\u2019re short, snappy, and full of festive sass.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u201cSleigh my name, sleigh my name.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cResting Grinch face in full effect.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cJingle all the way\u2026 to the wine.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cDear Santa, I can explain.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cIt\u2019s the most chaotic time of the year.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cAll I want for Christmas is a nap.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cI\u2019m only a morning person on December 25th.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cFa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-fail.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cDon\u2019t get your tinsel in a tangle.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cSingle and ready to jingle.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cI put the \u2018ho\u2019 in holiday.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cSanta saw your Instagram. You\u2019re getting a dictionary.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cI\u2019m dreaming of a white Christmas\u2026 but if the white runs out, I\u2019ll drink the red.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cLet\u2019s be naughty and save Santa the trip.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cI ate all the cookies. Sorry, not sorry.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cTree\u2019s up. Sanity\u2019s down.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cMy holiday spirit is wine.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cI\u2019m on the nice-ish list.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cTwas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring\u2026 except me, wrapping gifts at 2 a.m.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cYule be sorry if you don\u2019t eat these cookies.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cI\u2019m only a morning person on December 25th.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cKeep calm and jingle on.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www3.shutterfly.com\/p\/cards-stationery\/holiday-cards\/dear-santa-magic-christmas-card\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-73492 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/ideas.shutterfly.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dear-santa.jpg\" alt=\"dear santa christmas card\" width=\"500\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/ideas.shutterfly.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dear-santa.jpg 500w, https:\/\/ideas.shutterfly.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dear-santa-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/ideas.shutterfly.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dear-santa-396x395.jpg 396w, https:\/\/ideas.shutterfly.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dear-santa-170x170.jpg 170w, https:\/\/ideas.shutterfly.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/dear-santa-85x85.jpg 85w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shutterfly.com\/p\/cards-stationery\/holiday-cards\/dear-santa-magic-christmas-card\"><em>Shop Dear Santa Magic Christmas Card<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n<h2>Funny Christmas Jokes<\/h2>\n<p>Not every holiday moment needs to be picture-perfect\u2014sometimes, the best memories come from the mess and the mischief. These Christmas jokes are short, silly, and perfect for adding a little levity to your season.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?<\/strong><br \/>\nHe was picking his nose.<\/li>\n<li><strong>What do you call an elf who sings?<\/strong><br \/>\nA wrapper.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Why doesn\u2019t Santa use social media?<\/strong><br \/>\nHe\u2019s already following everyone.<\/li>\n<li><strong>What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad?<\/strong><br \/>\nA pineapple.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Why did the ornament go to school?<\/strong><br \/>\nIt wanted to be a little brighter.<\/li>\n<li><strong>What do you call a kid who doesn\u2019t believe in Santa?<\/strong><br \/>\nA rebel without a Claus.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Why did Santa go to therapy?<\/strong><br \/>\nHe had low elf-esteem.<\/li>\n<li><strong>What do you get when you eat Christmas decorations?<\/strong><br \/>\nTinselitis.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Why was the turkey at the Christmas party so proud?<\/strong><br \/>\nIt was stuffed.<\/li>\n<li><strong>What\u2019s Santa\u2019s favorite type of music?<\/strong><br \/>\nWrap.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www3.shutterfly.com\/p\/cards-stationery\/holiday-cards\/merry-era-christmas-card\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-73491 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/ideas.shutterfly.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/merry-era.jpg\" alt=\"merry era christmas card\" width=\"500\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/ideas.shutterfly.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/merry-era.jpg 500w, https:\/\/ideas.shutterfly.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/merry-era-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/ideas.shutterfly.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/merry-era-396x395.jpg 396w, https:\/\/ideas.shutterfly.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/merry-era-170x170.jpg 170w, https:\/\/ideas.shutterfly.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/merry-era-85x85.jpg 85w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em><a href=\"https:\/\/www3.shutterfly.com\/p\/cards-stationery\/holiday-cards\/merry-era-christmas-card\">Shop Merry Era Christmas Card<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<h2>Funny Christmas Wishes &amp; Messages<\/h2>\n<p>Need something funny but still warm to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shutterfly.com\/ideas\/christmas-card-wording\/\">write in a Christmas card<\/a> or text? Here\u2019s a list of funny Christmas wishes for friends, family, coworkers, or anyone who could use a laugh this holiday season:<\/p>\n<h3>For Friends<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>\u201cHope your holidays are as lit as your tree.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cWishing you a season full of snacks, naps, and zero responsibilities.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cMay your Christmas be merry and your Wi-Fi strong.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cHere\u2019s to a holiday season that\u2019s 90% cookies and 10% pretending to be productive.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cLet\u2019s raise a glass to surviving another year of group texts and gift exchanges.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cMerry Christmas! May your holiday be more lit than your neighbor\u2019s over-the-top decorations.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cWishing you a holiday season full of awkward family stories and zero judgment.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cHope your Christmas is like the best kind of fruitcake\u2014full of surprises (and a little nutty).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>For Family<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>\u201cMerry Christmas from your favorite child.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cLet\u2019s pretend the fruitcake never happened.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cSending love, laughter, and leftovers.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cWishing you a holiday season with minimal sibling drama.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cMay your Christmas be filled with traditions we forgot to follow and recipes we forgot to write down.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cMerry Christmas! May your family arguments be short and your desserts be plentiful.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cHope your Christmas is more fun than untangling the lights\u2014because that\u2019s a holiday miracle.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>For Anyone<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>\u201cMay your holidays be filled with awkward family photos and unmatched socks.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cWishing you a Christmas so good, even the in-laws behave.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cHope your season sparkles brighter than your ugly sweater.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cMay your days be merry and your batteries included.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cSending you festive vibes and zero judgment for regifting.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cMerry Christmas! May your inbox be empty and your coffee mug always full.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cHappy Holidays! Remember, calories don\u2019t count between December 24 and December 26.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>Related Resources to Funny Christmas Quotes<\/h2>\n<p>The holiday season doesn\u2019t have to be all stress and long lines at the mall. With the right funny Christmas quotes, sayings, and wishes, you can add a healthy dose of laughter to every corner of your celebration. Whether you\u2019re crafting cards, sharing jokes with friends, or just keeping your spirits high, a little humor goes a long way.<\/p>\n<p>So go ahead\u2014laugh loud, share widely, and make this Christmas a little sillier and a lot more joyful.<\/p>\n<p>Shop:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shutterfly.com\/t\/christmas-cards\/\">Christmas Cards<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shutterfly.com\/t\/holiday-cards\/\">Holiday Cards<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shutterfly.com\/t\/new-years-cards\/\">New Year\u2019s Cards<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shutterfly.com\/t\/ornaments\/\">Photo Christmas Ornaments<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shutterfly.com\/calendars\/\">Photo Calendars<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shutterfly.com\/personalized-gifts\/\">Personalized Gifts<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shutterfly.com\/t\/canvas-prints\/\">Canvas Prints<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Additional Resources:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shutterfly.com\/ideas\/funny-christmas-card-ideas-to-spread-holiday-cheer\/\">Funny Christmas Card Ideas<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shutterfly.com\/ideas\/christmas-captions\/\">Christmas Captions<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shutterfly.com\/ideas\/how-to-sign-a-christmas-card\/\">How to Sign a Christmas Card<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shutterfly.com\/ideas\/how-to-address-christmas-cards\/\">How to Address Christmas Cards<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shutterfly.com\/ideas\/when-to-send-out-christmas-cards\/\">When to Send Christmas Cards<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shutterfly.com\/ideas\/holiday-and-christmas-thank-you-messages\/\">Christmas Thank You Messages<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shutterfly.com\/ideas\/best-christmas-gift-ideas-for-everyone-on-your-list\/\">Best Christmas Gift Ideas for Everyone on Your List<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.shutterfly.com\/ideas\/christmas-card-sayings\/\">Christmas Card Sayings<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Get into the holiday spirit with funny Christmas quotes, sayings, and wishes that will make your friends and family laugh out loud.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":73500,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[96,440,3715],"tags":[3327,3212,3215,3416],"class_list":{"0":"post-74895","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-christmas","8":"category-holiday","9":"category-seasonal","10":"tag-christmas-card-messages","11":"tag-christmas-cards","12":"tag-christmas-greetings","13":"tag-quotes","14":"entry"},"acf":[],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/ideas.shutterfly.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/funny-christmas-cards-featured.jpg","author_info":{"display_name":"Shutterfly Community","author_link":"https:\/\/www.shutterfly.com\/ideas\/author\/shutterfly\/"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v26.6 (Yoast SEO v26.6) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>70+ Funny Christmas Quotes, Sayings, Wishes &amp; 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