Planning your wedding RSVPs involves more decisions than most couples expect. Do you go printed, digital, or both? What wording actually gets people to respond on time? And what do you do about plus-ones? This guide covers all of it, with wording examples you can use as-is or adapt for your own style.
How to choose your RSVP format
Before you write a single word of copy, it helps to think through the format. The right choice depends on your guest list, your timeline, and how coordinated you want everything to look.
Some couples use a wedding website to collect RSVPs digitally, and that works fine for tech-comfortable guest lists. But if you want something your guests can hold, a printed card is the cleaner choice. It works for everyone on the list regardless of how comfortable they are with technology, and there is no link to find, no form to figure out, no question about whether grandma saw the email.
The real advantage of printed cards through Shutterfly is that they are part of your stationery set. Your RSVP card, wedding invitation, envelope liner, and details card all share the same design, typography, and paper stock. Everything arrives in one package and looks like it belongs together, which matters more than you might think when guests are holding it in their hands.
RSVP card wording examples
Formal, traditional
Kindly reply by [date]
______________________ accepts with pleasure
______________________ declines with regrets
Number of guests attending: ______
Warm and conversational
Please let us know by [date] so we can plan accordingly.
[ ] Joyfully accepts
[ ] Regretfully declines
Name: ______________________
Number attending: ______
With a meal choice
We would love to see you there. Please reply by [date].
Name: ______________________
[ ] Accepts [ ] Declines
Meal preference:
[ ] Chicken [ ] Salmon [ ] Vegetarian
Casual, fun tone
Are you coming? (Please say yes.)
[ ] Wouldn’t miss it
[ ] So sorry, can’t make it
Name: ______________________
Guests: ______
With plus-one field
Name: ______________________
[ ] Will attend [ ] Will not attend
If you have been given a plus-one:
Guest name: ______________________
What to put on an RSVP card
You do not need to include everything. Here is what actually matters:
The RSVP deadline. Give guests a firm date and make it obvious. Write it out in full (“Please reply by August 15”) rather than a compressed format that is easy to overlook. Set your deadline two to three weeks before your final headcount is due to the caterer, not on the same day.
Names. A fill-in line for guest names cuts down on the guesswork when envelopes come back. If you need to track individual names for seating, include a line for each person.
Attendance confirmation. A simple accepts/declines format is fine. The wording is up to you, from formal (“accepts with pleasure”) to casual (“absolutely, see you there”).
Meal preference, if your venue requires it. Keep this clean, one line per person with clear checkbox options.
That is it. Everything else is optional, and simpler cards tend to come back more reliably than crowded ones.
RSVP deadline: how much lead time do you actually need?
Most caterers and venues need a final headcount somewhere between one and three weeks before the event. Work backwards from that deadline, then add another two to three weeks as buffer for late responders (there will always be late responders).
If your wedding is in October, for example, and your caterer needs numbers by October 1st, set your RSVP deadline in mid-September. Send invitations six to eight weeks before the deadline, which puts your mailing date in late July.
A note on timing: the earlier you send invitations, the more likely you are to get responses back before the deadline. Couples who mail invitations eight weeks out consistently report better response rates than those who wait until six weeks.
Managing plus-ones on your RSVP card
The clearest way to handle plus-ones is to address the outer envelope specifically. If a guest has been given a plus-one, write both names on the envelope. If they have not, address it to them alone.
That said, guests sometimes assume plus-ones where none were offered. A short fill-in line on the card (“Additional guest name, if applicable: ______”) gives you a way to track who is bringing whom without having an awkward conversation after the fact.
If you are concerned about uninvited guests, you can add a line like “We have reserved ___ seat(s) in your honor” with the number filled in by hand. It is a gentle, gracious way to set the expectation without making anyone feel called out.
FAQs
What should an RSVP card include?
At minimum: an RSVP deadline, a fill-in line for the guest’s name, and a way to indicate attendance. Meal preference is worth adding if your caterer requires individual choices. Everything else, wording variations, additional fields, card size, is optional and depends on your preference.
What’s the difference between digital and printed RSVPs?
Printed RSVP cards are mailed back by guests and are part of your physical invitation suite. Digital RSVPs are submitted through a form on your wedding website. Printed cards work well for all guests regardless of comfort with technology. Digital forms give you faster responses and real-time tracking. Many couples use both.
How far in advance should I send wedding invitations?
For a domestic wedding, six to eight weeks before the wedding date is standard. For a destination wedding or a wedding around a major holiday, eight to twelve weeks gives guests enough time to make travel arrangements.
Can I use a fill-in line instead of checkboxes?
Yes, and some couples prefer it because it feels less clinical. “We hope to see you there” with a fill-in response line is a perfectly valid format. The key is that the card is easy for guests to understand and fill out quickly.
What if guests don’t respond by the deadline?
Plan on it. Budget a few days after your deadline to follow up by phone or text with non-responders. Keep a list of guests you have not heard from and reach out to them directly. It is less fun than watching responses roll in, but a quick call resolves most stragglers.
Design your RSVP cards on Shutterfly
Shutterfly’s RSVP cards are designed to coordinate with your full wedding invitation suite: same design family, same paper options, same finish. You can browse designs by style (classic, modern, floral, minimalist, and more) and customize the wording, colors, and fonts to match exactly what you want.
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