Giving a wedding gift should be joyful, not stressful—but if you’re unsure how much to spend, when to send it, or whether you really need to buy something for a destination wedding, you’re not alone. Wedding gift etiquette has changed over the years, and expectations can vary depending on your relationship to the couple, the type of wedding, or even your budget.
Whether you’re a close family member, a plus-one, or just celebrating from afar, this guide answers all your most pressing questions and helps you navigate it all with ease.
Do You Have to Give a Wedding Gift?
Yes, if you’re invited to a wedding, it’s customary to give a gift—even if you can’t attend. The gift serves as a symbol of your support and happiness for the couple’s new life together. If you’re unable to attend, it’s still thoughtful to send something small or personal, even if it’s just a card with a heartfelt note or a digital gift card.
How Much Should You Spend on a Wedding Gift?
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but here’s a general guideline based on your relationship with the couple:
- Coworkers or distant acquaintances: $50–$75
- Close friends or extended family: $75–$150
- Immediate family or very close friends: $150–$250+
That said, your budget is always the most important factor. A thoughtful, meaningful gift that’s within your means will always be appreciated.
Should You Stick to the Couple’s Wedding Registry?
Most couples put a lot of thought into their registry, so shopping from it is the easiest and safest way to choose a gift they’ll truly want. However, you’re not obligated to stick to the list.
If you want to give something more creative, meaningful, or sentimental, going off-registry is completely acceptable—especially if the gift is personal. Custom gifts from Shutterfly, like monogrammed home decor or a photo book documenting their love story, are memorable alternatives that still feel intentional and thoughtful.
Personalized Wedding Gift Ideas
If you’re skipping the registry or looking to add a personal touch, these ideas from Shutterfly make unforgettable gifts the couple will cherish for years to come:
- Custom photo books: Tell their love story, feature engagement or wedding photos, or create a honeymoon-ready scrapbook.
- Engraved glassware: Toast to their future with personalized wine glasses or pint glasses.
- Photo blankets and pillows: Cozy keepsakes featuring engagement photos, wedding dates, or meaningful quotes.
- Monogrammed cutting boards, photo coasters, or custom mugs: Perfect for their new home.
- Framed prints or canvas wall art: Turn a favorite photo into a gallery-worthy display.
What If the Couple Doesn’t Have a Wedding Registry?
If the couple hasn’t created a registry, don’t panic—it just gives you more freedom to choose something meaningful. In this case, consider gifting cash, a gift card, or a thoughtful item that reflects their interests, lifestyle, or new life together. Think about what would be useful in their home or what would make them feel celebrated. A nice note goes a long way in making your gift feel intentional, even without a registry to guide you.
Is It Okay to Give Cash or a Gift Card?
Absolutely. Many couples prefer cash to help pay for their honeymoon, save for a home, or cover wedding expenses. If they’ve set up a honeymoon fund or registry that allows cash gifts, follow those guidelines. Otherwise, it’s perfectly fine to give cash in a card or a digital gift card with a personal message.
Tip: When giving cash, include a heartfelt note in the wedding card so it still feels personal and celebratory.
When Should You Send or Give a Wedding Gift?
Traditionally, guests had up to a year to send a wedding gift, but modern etiquette encourages sending it closer to the wedding date.
Here’s a recommended timeline:
- Before the wedding: 1–2 months in advance is ideal.
- After the wedding: Within 2–3 months is fine, especially for customized gifts.
- Attending the wedding? Ship the gift to the couple’s home—it’s more convenient for everyone.
Do You Need to Give a Gift If You’re Attending a Destination Wedding?
Yes—but the rules are a little more flexible. If you’re already spending a significant amount on travel, lodging, and time off, the couple may not expect a large gift. In this case, something small, meaningful, or personalized is totally appropriate.
Should You Spend More If You’re Bringing a Plus-One?
Not necessarily. You’re not expected to double your gift amount just because you’re attending with a guest, but it’s thoughtful to slightly increase your budget if you’re close to the couple.
Can You Give a Group Gift?
Definitely. Group gifts are a great idea, especially for pricier items on the couple’s registry or big custom gifts like framed photographs or a luxe personalized photo book. Group gifts work well for friend groups, extended families, or office coworkers.
What If You’re Attending Multiple Wedding Events?
If you’re invited to the engagement party, bridal shower, and wedding itself, it’s a good idea to bring a small gift to each event, with the main gift saved for the wedding.
Here’s a simple breakdown:
- Engagement party: Small token like a candle, photo frame, or wine
- Bridal shower: Registry item or something sentimental for the bride. Follow our guide on Bridal Shower Gift Etiquette for more tips.
- Wedding: Your primary gift—this can be a registry item, cash, or a personalized keepsake
Is It Ever Too Late to Send a Wedding Gift?
Nope. Life happens, and couples understand. A belated gift is always better than none. Just include a note acknowledging the timing and expressing your excitement and love for the couple.
Do Bridesmaids and Groomsmen Need to Give a Wedding Gift?
Yes, members of the wedding party are still expected to give a wedding gift. However, it’s understood that being a bridesmaid or groomsman often comes with significant expenses, so the gift doesn’t have to be extravagant. A smaller item from the registry, a group gift with the rest of the wedding party, or something meaningful is more than enough. Many wedding party members also give a personal card or inside joke gift in addition to a formal one, which adds a thoughtful touch without breaking the bank.
Wedding Gift Etiquette Recap: Do’s and Don’ts
DO:
- Stick to the registry if you’re unsure
- Send the gift directly to the couple’s home
- Include a card or personal note with any gift
- Consider personalized gifts for something unique
- Respect your budget—thoughtfulness matters most
DON’T:
- Show up empty-handed without at least a card
- Bring large gifts to the ceremony or reception
- Wait too long (aim for within 3 months)
- Stress about the price—gifts aren’t a competition
Related Resources on Wedding Gift Etiquette
Wedding gifts are more than tradition—they’re a way of celebrating a couple’s new chapter and showing you care. Whether you go with something classic from the registry or surprise them with a custom keepsake from Shutterfly, the best gifts come from the heart. Use this guide to navigate any wedding gift scenario with confidence, knowing your thoughtfulness will always shine through.
Additional Resources:
